Confidence or false trust in one's ability
Can we really fake it to make it?
I was talking to Max Cuvellier and he mentioned something on how confidence is an important factor in succeeding and my mind strayed to Anna Delvey (search her out on Netflix for context) and the scam of a life she lived, impressive right?
Btw, before you read the rest of this article, take time to listen to my conversation with Max Cuvellier, Head of Mobile for Development at GSMA, on The Grinders Table - Anchor, Apple, Google. Max shares how he grew career-wise, the mistakes he made and his insights on leadership.
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Why is confidence so important?
The level of success you see in your life is a direct result of your belief system. Your belief system influences your confidence level.
However, Confidence is more complex than people make it. Confidence is, in part, a result of how we have been brought up and how we've been taught. We learn from others how to think about ourselves, our abilities and how to behave. Confidence can also be a result of our experiences and how we've learned to react to different situations.
Confidence vs Self-Esteem
Confidence and self-esteem are not the same things, although they are often linked or used interchangeably.
Confidence is often used to describe how we feel about our ability to perform roles and bring results while Self-Esteem is how we feel about ourselves, the way we look, the way we think - whether or not we feel worthy or valued.
Yes, people with low self-esteem often have low confidence, but people with good self-esteem can also have low confidence.
Confidence is knowing that despite mistakes, you have the ability, resources, know-how to still reach the set goal.
Fake it to make it
Just some minutes ago, I was chatting with my Instagram follower on Perception and how it shapes the quality of life.
The world revolves around perspective. Oftentimes, it doesn’t matter how good you are or how knowledgeable you are, what matters is if the ‘audience’ sees you like this. This is why ‘we’ must invest our time and effort in deliberately crafting the kind of perspective that will ensure we reach our personal goals.
Internally, the human brain also works the same way interestingly. You can trick the brain to believe certain things even though reality says differently.
Case in point, when Max says on the podcast “If people believe in you - accept it”
Perception (whether internal or external) eventually becomes reality!
When you allow yourself to drown in fears, doubts, and self-sabotaging behaviours, success will feel out of your grasp. People will see this and further create doubts about your abilities, and your mind will accept defeat and it just becomes a slippery slope that takes you nowhere.
All of the skills, training, and tools in the world won’t change your life if you aren’t ‘be-ing’ what you want/ought to be
»»» When I say Fake it to Make it, I am not encouraging you to lie and deceive people. I am encouraging you to manipulate secondary factors within your power to help you get towards your goals.
There’s a reason why certain people dress a certain way or go the extra length to look premium (first-class tickets, designer clothes etc). There’s a reason why people train themselves to be great orators, working on their postures, network with certain types of people or change their location all because they have a particular end-goal in mind.
While these people may not be where they want to be (and may actually have doubts), they live their lives every day like they are in their dream life.
In Anna Delveys words “If it’s important enough, we do the things we want to do.”
How are you doing what you must do to get you to your goals?